Dignity Restored on the Doorstep: Critical Incident Report

Critical Incident Report

1.  Describe the event including critical verbal and nonverbal communication and your responses.

Today  (Sunday, February 7) Bishop Mathes visited St. Matthew's, National City, where I am fortunate enough to be doing my field education this semester. As people filed out of the church, at about 10:15 a.m., and the line died down, and the bishop left, I noticed one woman, probably in her 20s, who was tearful, and headed out the door. She stopped and shook my hand. I had not seen her in church before. This was only my fourth Sunday worshiping at St. Matthew's. We started talking and I noticed that her eye makeup had run from her tears. I didn't mention it, but I started to engage her in conversation. I had seen her come into the service, a bit late, with two young toddlers, and I had watched her and a few other ladies manage them throughout the service. 

H1: Good morning (noticing that she had been crying)
S1: Good morning
H1: Your boys are adorable!
S1: Thank you. They are a handful. (wiping her eyes)
H1: How old are they?
S1: They will be 16 months next week.
H1: Wow! They're so big, that I thought they were about 2!
S1: (smiling) Yeah, they wear size 2, but they're only 16 months.
H1: I love their curly hair. What are their names?
S1: They are Namar and Nadan. Namar is the serious one who always wants to go and climb on things. Nadan is the loud one always getting into trouble.
H1: You did a good job managing them. I love to hear the children during the service. They bring life to the church.
S1: They did pretty well today. 
H1: Was the woman who was helping you with them your mom?
S1: Yeah, that's my mom. 
H1: Your mom has a beautiful voice.
S1: Really?
H1: Yes, I can hear her clear, beautiful voice, up at the altar. 
S1: Thank you (smiling). My sister was helping with the boys too.
H1: Is she the one who stood up to make the announcement about Ash Wednesday services? 
S1: Yeah, that's my sister, Judith.
H1: What is your name?
S1: I'm Sadie. (shaking hands again)
H1: Nice to meet you, Sadie. I'm Hannah. Do your boys sleep well?
S1: Yes, they sleep from 9 at night until 7 in the morning and they only wake up once or twice.
H1: That's great. 
S1: Yes. They are good boys. But I want to start working so I have something else in my life.
H1: Yes, I can understand that. Are you home full-time with them now?
S1: Yes. My husband lost his job last October.
H1: I'm sorry to hear that.
S1: He just got another job so he's working again. I'm hoping that now I can find a job too so I have a reason to get out of the house.
H1: (nodding) That is so important. Congratulations to your husband on the new job.
S1: Thanks (smiling). It was so hard when both of us weren't working. But now things are getting better.
H1: That's good. So, do you think you'll have more kids?
S1: Yes, later on. I want to have a girl. 
H1: How much later do you think you'll wait?
S1: Two or three years. I don't want another set of twins. What if they were girls? (laughs)
H1: (laughing) That would be incredible.
S1: Did you know that male identical twins are the most rare?
H1: No, I didn't know that! 
S1: Yes, I read that they are more rare than having identical twin girls, or having fraternal twins. And we couldn't tell for the longest time if both of ours were boys or not. Namar was going to be named Adriana. (laughs)
H1: (laughing) Wow! Isn't that amazing?
S1: Yeah. 
H1: (noticing that we were the last ones in the church) Well, are you staying for lunch? 
S1: Yes. Let's go eat.
H1: Ok, I will meet you over there. So nice to talk to you.
S1: Thanks. You too.

2. Describe any emotions you perceived in others.

Sadie was crying when we started talking so I assumed she was sad or upset about something that she had just been speaking with Cristina about. I felt that she was grateful to stand and talk to me as her eyes cleared. 

3. Describe your personal feelings about the situation.

I had a desire to reach out to Sadie, and to comfort her and support her. She seemed so open and kind. I felt that whatever she had cried about was something that was in need of healing and that perhaps her conversation with Cristina had been a small moment of healing, although it was hard. 

4. If it is a low point, state the problem. If it is a high point, state why it is so.

This was a high point because it was a moment where I felt I was helping someone, in an indirect way, to restore her sense of equilibrium before going into the highly social atmosphere of the parish hall for lunch. She seemed to need a moment away from her kids to collect herself. As we made conversation about her life, she calmed down and opened up. She is a kind, beautiful spirit who I felt fortunate to get to know a little.


6. Deal with the question: "How do I understand or make sense of this incident theologically?"

This incident reminds me of the story of Jesus and the woman at the well from John's gospel. In it, they converse back and forth about drawing water out of the well, receptacles for doing so, how it is done, and how Jesus could possibly provide water. The conversation turns personal when Jesus brings up her husband. He sees her and knows her for who she really is and through this experience she is restored to her true self and perhaps brought back into community. I don't think that all of that quite happened in this incident with Sadie, but I think perhaps a bit of it did. I was able to talk with her while her tears dried and she regained her composure. She responded to my questions so openly and eagerly that it seemed like she was happy for the opportunity to talk in that moment.